ALONG YOUR DESTINATION -
People have asked me about the name I chose for Grief Support. They said Destination Unlimited sounds more like a travel agency. My reply was, "Exactly!" I mean think about it - Grief is a personal 'journey' and each person will end up in a different place which is like a 'destination' - Some will heal and move forward and sadly some will remain stuck in anger or depression.
The people that suffer loss have a hard road to travel - Some journey's are long and some are short. Some soar through it and sometimes people crash. You're shattered, like you've never been before - your life's in pieces and scattered all over the floor. You think you'll never going to get back to the you that used to be. And there are days that you can hardly breathe.
You need time to catch your breath - and just when you begin to breathe on your own, six months later you can barely get out of bed. The roller coaster ride that never seems to end. People stop calling and sending cards. You're left with the thought of, "Now what?"
Should you or someone you know be suffering from a loss of a loved one through death, divorce, separation, empty nest, loss of health or loss of employment, I can help.
There is a natural and normal reaction to any loss in life. Some have difficulty moving forward after suffering a loss. I will come alongside of you and together we will go through some healing exercises and then plan the journey for what I refer to as "The New Normal."
You will go through several stages of grief during the first 12 - 24 months. My Role is to come alongside of you right where you are this minute. I prefer specialty groups when it comes to attending a group. No, I don't use workbooks and no, I do not put hurting people together that suffer different losses like most support groups do. Those can be harmful because let's face it, Hurt people, hurt people. You're already hurting-
My hope for you is that you find the right group. If you just lost your husband, attend a widows only group. If you just lost your wife, attend a group for widowers. Most try to put these two groups together, but a man will have a hard time being vulnerable in front of other women. He can simply be a man with other men - Iron sharpens iron. Men will not grieve the same way that a woman will. Why create more frustration? Now if you are there to meet women, I suggest a dating site <wink> These ladies need the time to heal up first.
The same applies to divorce - not a death of a person, but the death of a marriage and the death of the plans you made together. The cause is not significant in divorce - My hope for you is that you reconcile if at all possible. There is still grief work there as well. Be careful choosing just any help for your marriage - This is where a licensed therapist would work better.
If you lost a child, you should attend a group with other parents that have also lost a child. Be careful of attending groups if your child was grown by attending a group of parents that just lost their infant. Again, it's still a child, but it's not the same loss. Trauma or a long term illness is usually the cause of an adult child's death. You may suffer trauma if the death was sudden or a suicide. You may require a doctor's care if this is the case and then when you are ready, a group may be the final part of healing. You are the only one that will know when you are ready to move forward. Grief is tough work - and yes, I said WORK. Grief is the price we pay for love.
I strongly believe you should feel comfortable with the coach you choose, and hopeful about coaching. When you feel this way, counseling/coaching is more likely to be very beneficial to you.
How we approach your particular situation depends on a variety of things. The first determinant of how we will work together is what you want to get out of your coaching session. There may be times that you do not know exactly what you want – you just know your life is not what you want it to be or that you want help.
Other major determinants of how we proceed are if you are in crisis, what stage of life you are in, and who else is being affected by your situation. Above all, I view coaching as a partnership between us, so we will always proceed by agreement and with confidentiality.
I have been working in death care for 16 years and I have worn a lot of hats in this profession. My heart has been called to help people that just simply cannot help themselves. Not everyone knows what grief is like - what are the symptoms? How long will this last? Why can't I sleep? When will I get back to normal again? The questions just keep on and on - and the greatest one is always, WHY?
I know it's hard to just jump into a group setting full of strangers - I prefer to work one on one first and see if a group would help or may not help you. I'll go a step further and ask that you try more than one individual or group to make certain that YOU feel comfortable and that you are being understood and heard.
My method of coaching combines Biblical Foundations, Individual Psychology and Family Systems Therapy, with solution-focused ideas: This means that I look at most issues in the context of your goals for coaching, your family background, and current life dynamics. I take a positive approach to problems, assuming that people are resilient and have tremendous abilities to address their life situations.
It is my role as a coach to help you understand the dynamics of your situation and to help you use your particular strengths to address your issues.
Sometimes symptoms worsen before they get better because coaching brings up issues and painful emotions. Our goal is to confront issues and emotions together, and with time, and prayer, to work through them. I may recommend other types of counseling such as support groups, or group counseling as an appropriate source for your situation.
LENGTH OF COACHING
Length of coaching is very difficult to predict. Each individual has unique circumstances, and each problem is different from the next. Although some clients can meet their goals in one session, this is unusual. It generally takes 2-3 sessions for us both to have an understanding of your situation and goals - however, the helping process will begin with the first visit.
If you could benefit from a treatment or counseling I cannot provide, I have a list of professional counselors that I can refer you to ensure that you receive the best possible care. If for some reason coaching is not going well, I might suggest you see another therapist or professional for an evaluation. It is my goal that each client will finish coaching in a timely manner without unnecessary waste of time or money.
This journey has no realistic time limit. When I talk to people about grief and they ask me how long this will last ...??? My reply is as long as it takes. Here's to your healthy and healed destination.
Most clients enjoy being coached from the comfort of their own home.
We simply set a date and time and you call in to attend your session. No need for hair and makeup with this option. This is a popular way to start the journey!
Sign up for email coaching! This is a therapeutic approach to getting those tough questions answered. This is on YOUR time frame. Relax and take your sweet time with this option. I send you homework and you work it in to your busy schedule.
Gather some of your friends that are having similar challenges and do it together! This allows what is known as "Power sessions" to breakout. This option could land you a free coaching session should you be a referral source.